You still have to own it

A passionate sports fan found himself in the top row at the Super Bowl, his view of the field obstructed by the crowd. As he strained to catch a glimpse of the game, he couldn’t help but notice a vacant seat about three rows back on the 50-yard line. It remained unoccupied even as the second quarter commenced, prompting him to make his way down and inquire about it.

The man, seemingly lost in thought, replied, “No, please, have a seat.” A few minutes later, the fan, now settled in the prime spot, couldn’t help but wonder about the seat’s owner and their absence at such a momentous event. With a hint of sadness in his voice, the man revealed that the seat had belonged to his late wife for a decade.

Feeling sorry for the nice man, the fan asked if he has a friend or family member to whom he could have offered the seat instead of leaving it vacant. It was a missed opportunity, a chance to share the joy of the game with someone close.

The man said, “No, they’re all at the funeral.”

Well obviously, the person in our story does not understand priority.

When you wake up each morning, life presents you with an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to show up, make a difference and become your best version.

But what do you do? You hit the snooze button. You stay under the covers a while longer. You get a late start on the day, and suddenly, all your plans get pushed back. These days, there are plans and unfulfilled potential piles. You chastise and berate yourself. You start to feel like you’ll never make progress and never be the person philosophy meant for you to be.

Almost two thousand years ago, Marcus Aurelius was the emperor of Rome, the most powerful man on the planet, and faced this exact dilemma. He made excuses—he told himself it was nice and warm under the covers. “So, you were born to feel ‘nice’?” he writes in Meditations. “Instead of doing things and experiencing them?” He looked outside himself to the birds, the plants, the ants, all of which were going about their tasks, putting the world in order as best they could.

So, what was his problem? Why couldn’t he get out of bed in the morning and do the same?

“You don’t love yourself enough,” he said. “Or you’d love your nature and what it demands of you.”

Each year begins like each day. Each new year offers the same opportunities we so easily defer or delay—the chance to show up, make a difference, and become the best version of ourselves. Will you take it?

Ryan Holiday says: “The world needed Marcus Aurelius to become the person we admire and study today. This required conscious and consistent effort on his part. It required him to challenge himself, demanding that he wake up each morning and work on his tasks, putting the world in order as best as possible. You’re no different. And you know it. You’ve had the ideas. You’ve made the plans. But you haven’t challenged yourself, you haven’t acted.

One of the greatest joys in my life is encountering executives who tell me how the seminars and training sessions I conducted decades ago challenged them, shaped their thinking and contributed to the successful leaders they are today. Equally fulfilling are the moments when business owners approach me to share how a single talk—perhaps at a “Dealers or Distributors Conference”—inspired them to improve their operations, ultimately scaling their businesses exponentially.

While I sincerely appreciate these compliments and the recognition, I often wonder. What happened to the thousands of others who attended those same sessions, heard the same ideas and haven’t seen significant growth or improvement? Why do some seize the opportunity to transform while others remain stagnant despite being exposed to the same insights and tools? This question intrigues me and underscores the importance of personal commitment and action in achieving success.

Good leaders recognize potential, mentor, encourage and create opportunities for their people to grow in their careers. However, the ultimate responsibility lies with individuals to rise to the challenge, take ownership of their development and strive to become the best versions of themselves. Unfortunately, many remain aspiring, waiting for success to find them. Meanwhile, a select few who take their growth seriously and invest in their development rise through the ranks, enjoying the success others only dream about.

Yes, you may have a mentor, a boss who can spot your potential or a business owner who would invest in your training and growth, and if this is the case, you are, of all people, blessed. But here’s the deal: as far as your progress, improvement, growth and development, you still have to own it in order to make good things happen.

(Francis Kong’s “Inspiring Excellence” podcast is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google, or other podcast streaming platforms.)