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Speed dating is something I first saw in movies and TV shows. There was Miranda in Sex and the City, who, panicked about not having a date for her friend’s wedding, ended up at a speed dating event—or “multidate,” as Carrie called it—to find one. Film buffs are surely familiar with the awkward, cringeworthy speed dating scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. One of my most recent onscreen encounters with speed dating was in the Filipino film My Amnesia Girl.
Miranda Hobbes’ speed dating experience in Sex and the City (Still from HBO)Whether in local or international media, speed dating has often been portrayed as a last resort—a desperate measure and a final chance to find love. That made it seem like an embarrassing thing to do, which is why I vowed never to take part in one. That is, until this month.
In 2024, reports suggest that speed dating is making a comeback. According to an article in USA Today, Eventbrite, a global events marketplace, “saw a 63 percent surge in speed dating events from 2021 to 2022” in the U.S. and a “43 percent increase in attendance from 2022 to 2023.” The company attributes this rise to dissatisfaction with dating apps and a growing desire for more authentic, in-person connections.
In the Philippines, while speed dating is still gaining traction, a few events have been popping up in Manila. During the last Valentine’s weekend, there were several. The thing is, speed dating today—unlike in the movies and TV shows I mentioned—is actually enjoyable. Some events feature unique concepts and themes, others incorporate activities to keep participants engaged, and a few are tailor-made for specific groups of individuals. All of these elements were present in the speed dating event I attended.
The speed dating event lasted around three hours. During the session, we had dinner, enjoyed treats and cocktails, and were serenaded by a balladeer. What made the event particularly entertaining was its concept, inspired by a popular Netflix series. We only had five minutes to talk to each person before moving on to the next. By the end of the night, I had gone through 22 mini-dates. It was exhausting, but it taught me a lot.
Talk to strangers—it’s fun
Remember when your parents told you never to talk to strangers? That doesn’t apply here. Speed dating, in many ways, is a test of your social skills—how you present yourself, engage in conversation, and ask questions. The biggest challenge is figuring out how to sum up your best qualities in just a minute or two.
Sometimes, we craft a good, concise story about who we are, but other times, we struggle to put our personalities and experiences into words. One participant had a clever approach—writing down a list of likes and dislikes—which offered a refreshing break from constant conversation.
A great way to expand your social circle
One of the best things about speed dating is that it naturally brings like-minded people together. Beyond finding a potential partner, many participants are looking for others who share their interests.
During the event, we were given three cards to write down the names of people we liked after our mini-dates. Matches were announced at the end of the program. Of course, not everyone ended up matching with the people they’d written down, but many found joy in connecting with others over shared passions. One person I met loved talking about style, while another sitting next to me had always dreamed of being published. These little moments of discovery make speed dating a memorable and unique experience.
Muster up the courage
The beauty of speed dating is that there’s no pressure. Compared to a blind date, where you’re stuck with one person for an entire three-course meal, speed dating allows you to move on after just a few minutes. If you’re not feeling a connection, you just wait for the timer, say, “See you around,” and move on.
Looking back, I realize that the hardest part of speed dating isn’t the event itself—it’s what happens afterward. For those who matched with someone, the challenge is finding the courage to continue the experience beyond that night. For those who didn’t, it’s about having the confidence to put themselves out there again and believe they are enough.
Sure, it’s nice to imagine that destiny plays a role—that being placed in the same room as someone means Cupid is ready to strike. But for what it’s worth, speed dating is about more than just finding a partner. It’s an eye-opening experience that can make you rethink your perspective on love, companionship, and even first impressions.
Nothing can truly prepare you to score a match at this kind of event. But one thing is certain: making connections in real life is far more meaningful than doing it online.
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