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“Something feels off about this guy,” I thought as I listened to the speaker/trainer. His content was solid, and his delivery was polished, but I sensed a disconnect. When I looked around, I noticed that others in the audience weren’t connecting with him either. While a few seemed engaged, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing.
I pushed the thought aside and tried to focus on the content, determined to gain something from the session. However, as someone committed to improving my communication skills, I couldn’t help but analyze what went wrong. What would I do differently in his place?
Then it hit me – the person on stage was completely different from the person off stage. That was the problem. Many people view public speaking as a skill that demands a dramatic transformation, but this mindset often blocks real connections with the audience. Off stage, the speaker was charismatic, lively, and engaging. I assumed his presentation would be equally natural, but as soon as he stepped in front of the audience, he became stiff and robotic.
This issue isn’t uncommon. Some speakers force a constant smile or deliver their message as if performing a scripted act. Maybe they’re nervous – everyone gets nervous in front of an audience, including me. Perhaps they’re trying too hard to engage the crowd or are overly concerned about being judged. However, the real barrier is the belief that public speaking requires becoming someone else and leaving one’s authentic self behind.
The truth is, the best speakers aren’t performers – they’re genuine communicators. They treat public speaking as a conversation, not a performance.
When it comes to public speaking, many picture a formal setting – a podium, a large audience, and a dramatic speech. However, Merriam-Webster defines it as “the art of effective oral communication with an audience.” By this definition, we engage in public speaking daily, whether telling stories at dinner or sharing ideas in meetings.
Public speaking isn’t about delivering a flawless, rehearsed performance; it’s about having a conversation. It’s about connecting with your audience, not just trying to impress them.
Consider how you communicate with friends or family in informal settings. You naturally tell stories, share jokes, and offer insights. This comfort and ease are the foundation of excellent public speaking. The challenge comes when we mistakenly believe we need to transform into someone else when speaking in front of an audience. Some speakers say, “Fake it until you make it,” but faking something doesn’t make it authentic. What the audience seeks is Authenticity, and Authenticity always outweighs theatrics. People care more about how you make them feel than how polished your delivery is.
Instead of perfecting your voice, stance, or gestures, focus on making your audience feel included in the conversation. The most effective speakers don’t rely on scripts or manufactured personas. They embrace their natural way of communicating and concentrate on building a connection with their audience. Stop trying to be someone else; instead, amplify who you already are. As George Bernard Shaw famously said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
When you step on stage or stand behind a podium, remember it’s not about you – it’s about the value you can deliver to the audience. Your objective is to inspire, educate, or encourage your listeners in a way that helps them grow or improve. To do this effectively, you need to understand your audience and the context of your message.
For instance, one speaker jokingly said, “Today, I conquered my fear of public speaking and gave a rousing, powerful speech about how nobody likes a quitter – and they kicked me out of the 12-step AA program.” While it’s a joke, it highlights the importance of knowing your audience and context. A good speaker tailors their message accordingly.
Additionally, mastering your material is crucial. Be confident in your sharing, and genuinely believe in your message. Another humorous example comes from someone who said, “The last time I did public speaking was during the valedictorian speech in high school. I was the one yelling, ‘You suck!’ from the back.” Obviously, that’s not the best way to connect with an audience.
So, don’t be afraid of public speaking. It’s just an extension of the conversations you have every day. As comedian Jerry Seinfeld famously noted, “Public speaking is the #1 fear of the average person. #2 is death.” This means more people would rather be in the casket at a funeral than give the eulogy.
Successful public speaking is not about overcoming a fear by pretending to be someone else. It’s about embracing who you are and communicating with authenticity, allowing you to build meaningful connections with your audience.
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