Not dead, but it was never real

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Before COVID, I declined invitations to speak on “work-life balance,” telling clients:

1. I do not believe in it.

2. I don’t have it.

Clients often laughed in recognition; many appeared fine outwardly while struggling privately.

Organizers often shifted conference themes to “Achieving Work-Life Harmony” or “Work-Life Integration,” reflecting that “balance” is appealing in theory but difficult in reality.

COVID erased home-work boundaries, renewing interest in “work-life balance,” especially among younger employees. They saw burnout firsthand and rejected celebrating exhaustion.

Most know that perfect, guilt-free time distribution is unrealistic. Columnist Angela Gennari addresses this honestly, challenging perfection while valuing health.

In her column titled “Work-Life Balance Isn’t Dead — It Was Never Real,” Angela presented her observations, and I find it plausible and noteworthy.

People often ask business leaders, “How do you manage work-life balance?”

While well-intentioned, this question assumes a separation that no longer exists. As Gennari notes, balance implies that work and life are distinct, which is no longer the case.

This concept was applied decades ago. “Work-life balance” rose in the 1980s as longer work hours and dual-income households drove organizations to address family needs. Work usually ended at the office.

But that world is gone.

Today, work lives in your pocket. It vibrates on your wrist. It follows you into dinner, weekends, vacations, and even those “quick rest” moments that magically turn into scrolling sessions.

Then the pandemic came along and smashed whatever was left of the imaginary wall. Work-from-home made the blending official: a Zoom meeting with a child in the background, a pet strolling like a proud consultant, and the now-classic business uniform — nice top, comfortable bottom.

So maybe the problem is not that we can’t achieve balance.

Maybe the problem is we keep chasing a concept designed for a different century.

Today, technology keeps work ever-present, spilling into meals, weekends and vacations. The pandemic formalized this integration, with remote meetings including family and a relaxed approach to attire.

For women, pressure is often greater and unrealistic. Many balance roles as business leaders, parents, partners, volunteers and household managers.

Gennari cites Indra Nooyi, former PepsiCo CEO: “There is nothing called balance… At best, you can juggle all these priorities.”

In reality, this juggling act is often overwhelming.

The impact extends beyond fatigue to real exhaustion. Gennari cites research showing many women consider leaving jobs due to a lack of “work/life balance” and flexibility.

Technology has boosted productivity — but made disconnection harder.

The real issue is expecting equal, guilt-free attention to everything.

However, life, seasons and leadership do not operate with perfect balance. Instead, a different perspective is needed to address these realities.

A more effective framework is alignment rather than balance.

Balance suggests equal distribution; alignment means matching time to current priorities.

At times, work or personal life must come first, depending on launches, deadlines, or rest needs.

Alignment shows that not everything is equally important.

It encourages you to be intentional, not guilty.

The question becomes “Am I aligned?” rather than “Am I balanced?”

Employers should offer flexibility based on outcomes, not appearances. Employees may work outside traditional hours. Working parents need flexibility to avoid burnout and make work sustainable.

For employees, alignment also takes discipline. Remote work depends on trust, boundaries and focused productivity. Flexibility only works if personal tasks do not interfere. Lost trust reduces flexibility for everyone.

In the end, Gennari’s core message is both sobering and hopeful: the old version of work-life balance was never realistic.

At the same time, a purpose-driven life is possible — one built on intentional choices, not perfect symmetry.

For more than 10 years, I managed over 300 engagements annually. Now, I do around 220, but sessions have shifted from usual one- or two-hour presentations to more two-day training sessions.

I can’t base my life on the popular idea of “work-life balance” as many young people interpret it.

Instead, I focus on dedicating my time to high-value activities and intentionally learning to prioritize health, rest and recreation.

There’s no balance here — but there is harmony and alignment.

You can’t have everything all at once.

But over time, you can have what matters — if you accept seasons, define priorities and release the guilt of trying to be everywhere for everyone.

The goal isn’t a perfectly balanced scale.

The goal is a life that doesn’t merely fit your calendar — but it actually supports your calling.

Because you are enough.

But you are not meant to be everything, everywhere, all at once.

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