Is God’s love conditional?

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Is God’s love conditional? The people I study the Bible with all adamantly said, “No!”

Scripture itself testifies to this: “God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). God did not wait for us to change first before sending his Son to save us. If God’s love is conditional, then where would we be?

And maybe that’s why the people I asked fervently defended God’s unconditional love. We falter and fall; we stumble and sin. If God demands that we be dusted off and clean before he meets us, then none of us would ever be able to stand before him. The truth is, God meets us right in the dirt, in the stumble, in the fall. His love does not recoil at our weakness; his love draws him to come even closer, to pull us up so we can rise again.

But our Gospel today (John 14:15-21) begins with: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Moreover, it ends with: “Whoever has my commandments and observes them is the one who loves me. And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and reveal myself to him.”

Is God’s love conditional?

Keeping God’s commandments isn’t the requirement we must fulfill in order to be loved. Rather, it is the result of being loved. Jesus did not say, “Obey me to earn my love.” God’s love is already and always being offered. A rhyming metaphor to capture this might help: “Love is the root; obedience is the fruit.”

But wait, there’s more…

God doesn’t withhold his love until we obey. But those who keep God’s commandments grow to become more sensitive to and more aware of it. They recognize and experience it more. I’m not saying that those who obey God will be loved by God more. I’m saying that those who obey God will feel his love more.

Obey God, keep his commandments—these aren’t just about not eating or drinking one hour before receiving Communion. When Jesus was asked in Matthew 22:36 about which commandment was the greatest, his answer was to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself. So now, we have to ask ourselves, “How is God asking me to love him and my neighbor concretely, in my particular context, in my everyday life?”

When we move from the realm of ideas to real life, then things start getting messy. But Jesus also tells us in our Gospel today, “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always.” In the messiness of things, God will be with us; in the messiness of things, we can feel God’s love more.

As a young boy, whenever I was asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, my stock answer was, “Doctor!” But then I discovered that I didn’t like the smell of hospitals and that I was afraid of needles, blood, and dead bodies. So I became a priest instead. God must have quite a sense of humor because my first assignment as a priest was as chaplain at the Philippine General Hospital. I remember hearing the announcement right after ordination and just seeing needles, blood, and dead bodies in my head.

My job was basically to anoint patients when I was called to do so. Because I didn’t like the smell of the hospital, how I did my job was basic: I stayed in the chaplain’s office until I was called. While waiting, I prayed. Guess what my prayer was. “Lord, please don’t let anyone call.”

But in prayer, I also slowly saw that this was not right. It was surely the Advocate who nudged me to get out of the chaplain’s office more. The wards reeked of antiseptic, sweat, and sickness. This combination of odors made me gag, but I realized I was suffocating even more while imprisoned in my office. So I ventured out. I got blood splattered on me. Once, trying to avoid touching a dead body, I backed into a hospital bed and nearly toppled onto another dead body.

Yet in those awkward and scary moments, something shifted. I began to see that the hospital wasn’t just a place to be feared. It was also where courage could be found. In nurses and doctors who taught me the difference between a job and a ministry, in once-estranged family members now holding hands, in the whispered exchanges of "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you" right before death, I began to see love in action, hope in suffering, and serenity in dying. In the messiness of trying to obey God, I felt his love more. I might have been squeamish, but God's love never was.

That’s my experience. What’s yours? How is God asking you to love him and your neighbor concretely, in your particular context, in your everyday life? Sometimes this will mean pushing yourself to do more. Sometimes, doing more will actually mean learning to do less—taking a step back, loosening your grip on control, and letting others grow even if this means making mistakes.

Today is Mother’s Day. In the shower of flowers and chocolates and cards, the messiness of the relationships between mothers and their young adult and adult children are understandably set aside. But before the day ends, maybe we can also ask, “How is God asking me and my mother to love each other concretely, in our complex context, in the push and pull of everyday life?” Whatever your answer, trust that the Spirit will be with you in the mess and you will feel God’s love more.

Your prayer assignment this week:

In trying to love God more, we will also experience God’s love more. Again, this does not mean that God’s love depends on our efforts. God’s love is always there, but we feel it more and it becomes more real to us, when we try to live it out. It’s not going to be easy, and when we start feeling the strain, maybe this Adele song can help:

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love  

Fr. Francis teaches Theology, Education and Scripture at both the Ateneo de Manila University and Loyola School of Theology. As a classroom teacher, he is first and foremost a student. As a professor, he sees himself primarily as a pastor.