3 days ago
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Honey** opens her laptop as the day begins in Sarawak, the largest among all states in Malaysia. For the queer and neurodivergent youth, the act of logging onto her device and connecting to the internet is more than just a routine. It is an opening into a world that understands her in ways her immediate surroundings often do not.
Across the sea, in the Philippines, Mary**, a blind cisgender queer woman, settles in her day with practiced ease. She navigates her smartphone equipped with screen-reading software that acts as both her eyes and her gateway to the world beyond her immediate realm.
For both Honey and Mary, technology and the internet are not merely tools that make everyday tasks easier. They provide a lifeline, a canvas for self-expression, and a space for community and connection.
Their stories are part of ”Mapping Joy, Pleasure and Community: Peoples in Malaysia and the Philippines’ Voices on Feminist Internet,” a project that seeks to study the intersectionality between disability, gender, and sexuality. It explores how persons with disabilities(PWDs) navigate digital platforms and how its technology innovations empower them to challenge stigma, reclaim agency and express joy. Central to this exploration is the recognition of pleasure – both sexual and otherwise – as a fundamental human right that is often denied to PWDs by societal narratives rooted in ableism and patriarchy.
By amplifying voices from Malaysia and the Philippines, the project sheds light on how digital spaces empower PWDs to reclaim their narratives and envision futures where joy and agency are abundant.
Claiming PWDs’ agency
For many PWDs, decisions about their own bodies are usually fraught with societal assumptions and systemic barriers. But as digital platforms continue to grow, so are the opportunities for PWDs to explore and reclaim their bodily autonomy.
Growing up, Honey has had to deal with struggling to understand what it meant to fit in in the face of her being autistic.
“I’m not allowed to have my own sense of beauty,” she said. “I’m not allowed to have my own definition of what I think is beautiful and it hurts me a lot because it feels like no matter what I do, I’m not going to get accepted.”
. Being introduced to the internet enabled her to seek and connect with communities that shared her values, autonomy and her special interest as a queer neurodivergent. She recalled how she first found a sense of belonging online with people who do cosplays.
While she has lost touch with many of them, she has carried the lessons learned from those years.
“I learned what my boundaries are [and] It helps me to navigate in this society, like what are my non-negotiables, but also what I truly seek for in friendships and relationships with people,” she said.
Honey experienced online a level of acceptance that she never thought was possible.. Autism in adulthood, and especially in women and girls, are often under-recognized and without a formal diagnosis, her disability is often dismissed in Malaysia and her immediate family and the community she lives in. In Malaysia, the dominance of a medical and pathologizing lens on autism and to this extent, disability, continues to be the mainstream view. But for the first time, she never had to explain the extent of her disability just so she could get the support she needed. Hearing the stories of people like her online made her realize that she wasn’t alone.
“If you have issues, then you have issues, it doesn’t matter how big or small, we are all here for you, and that is really accepting and comforting for my side,” she said. “It’s about finding [a] community, learning more about yourself, learning about information like love, connection, and how to make friendships, at all, that you couldn’t probably get in real life.”
These connections became the foundation for her exploration of sexual and gender expression, which are areas she previously felt were inaccessible for people like her. TikTok and its vibrant community of neurodivergent creators became a space where Honey could explore her identity unapologetically. The online space has also become a space for her to unlearn the widespread assumption that pleasure and sex were only reserved for men.
“Joy for me is very emotional,” she said. “Pleasure can be very emotionally intimate.”
Mary, a 37-year-old cisgender queer woman from the Philippines, also found her freedom and liberation through digital platforms. It gave her a stronger sense of agency and autonomy over her interactions with other people, which has been a challenge in physical spaces where she often felt excluded. A screen-reader software, for example, has enable her to interact on social media and connect with friends even more.
What is good about digital spaces, Mary emphasized, is how she is given the agency to decide on when and how to engage. This is important for her as someone who sees joy as something intricately tied to connections and emotions shared with people in her life.
“Joy is more emotionally-linked, you experience joy because you’re talking to your friend, you experience joy because you have a great relationship with your partner or partners,” she said.
Digital technology also opened up the opportunities for Mary to explore her sexuality safely and on her own terms. It is otherwise challenging in the “real world” in the face of stigma against PWDs where they are often judged by their disability from the first hello. They are also often assumed as being asexual or devoid of any sexual agency just because of their disabilities . While the digital spaces opens up these opportunities, the challenge of inaccessibility remains. For example, dating applications like Tinder and Bumble are still facing accessibility issues across their platforms, leaving disabled users looking to date, connect or mingle hanging on to hope.
Discovering audio erotica during the pandemic, a medium that combines storytelling and voice acting sans visuals, was a revelation for Mary. Its existence, she said, leveled the playing field in dating and seeking for connections as it offered an alternative avenue where intimacy and sexual pleasure were not reliant entirely on sight and visuals, but audio erotica allowed for storytelling through sound and audioscape; as how she experiences her world through her disability. She is now in consideration to narrate her own audio erotica stories to fill in this gap to those who may otherwise have no access to this form of exploring pleasure and sexuality. This ambition steams from a dream to help other blind individuals to explore their desires and identities, and that pleasure and joy is also a right to their community.
For Jayce*, a cisgender male queer Deaf academic in Malaysia, digital platforms have been essential in navigating their identity as a queer person. The internet became their sanctuary, especially living in a country where LGBTQ+ individuals face discrimination and criminalization. It was during the nascent of Malaysia’s internet era where Jayce first discovered their queer identity. They recalled encountering pornographic material online and a newsletter introducing diverse sexualities beyond the heterosexual norms they were brought up with.
Those moments sparked their realisation of their sexual orientation, though societal stigma and lack of resources blurred their comprehension, but these moments online sparked a curiosity to explore an understanding of their sexual orientation. Online resources and connections, including conversations with friends abroad, offered them critical gap information and provided a safe space to explore their identity.
“It was difficult for me so the internet helped me to find out more information,” they said. “They give me space to talk to friends… and we were able to share information about [being] gays, about our identity, about LGBTQ+.”
Jayce’s online connections helped them embrace their sexuality and build their confidence in asserting and reclaiming their agency. They now have established various organizations that seek to address the lack of safe and affirming spaces for Deaf people.
Their advocacy also focuses on the intersections of pleasure, identity, and accessibility. Through their work, he challenges the notion that Deaf individuals are excluded from conversations about sexual expression and intimacy. Creating spaces where Deaf individuals can explore these facets of their lives is a form of activism that pushes against ableist and heteronormative barriers.
“In social media, maybe my pleasure is [getting] to know the lives of people, how people change, the life-changing events,” he said.
A 39-year-old Deaf transwoman from the Philippines, who leads her own LGBTQ+ Deaf Advocacy Organization, sees her presence on digital platforms as a way to redefine narratives of what constitutes pleasure, joy, and identity. It opened the world for her when it comes to consuming content that has closed captions. It has also allowed her and other PWDs in the Deaf community to be visible, especially those from the younger generation.
She elaborated that there is still a difference between the joy and pleasure she gets from online and physical interactions. In-person conversations, she explained, provide a richer experience since Deaf individuals often have to rely on body language for better communication.
“Most of the time, when you’re in an online space, it’s like you’re just taking in the enjoyment but you can’t really express it,” she said. “Face-to-face conversations are really different.”
Still, she acknowledges the good impact of digital spaces especially for pushing forward advocacies related to LGBTQ+ rights. The internet has become a crucial tool in campaigns for awareness as well as providing a safe space for members of her community, where their differences were seen as just that, a difference, not a personal deficit or an impairment.
Understanding pleasure beyond sex
Sexual pleasure, essential to human existence, is often invisibilised, overlooked or deemed taboo in discussions from the disability lens. The project highlights how PWDs navigate and redefine these mainstream narratives by using digital spaces as tools for advocacy and empowerment. Pleasure, as demonstrated by those we interviewed, extends beyond just the physical and experience in our body. It can also mean connections, exercising our autonomy, and joy in being true to one’s own identity.
Hemz, a 41-year-old Indian-Malaysian woman living with Wilson’s disease, illustrates this beautifully. A life-threatening health situation in 2002 resulted in her not finishing her university education. Since then, the rare genetic disease has affected her physical conditions, leading her to use on a wheelchair. Living in a country that is not disability-friendly has led her facing several challenges growing up.
“People stare at me whenever I go out, it makes me very self-conscious so I don’t really like going out and meeting people,” she said. “I’m more content being a wallflower at any event or function.”
Her feminist social media page, which she started as a blog in 2012, has become a way to challenge misogyny and amplify voices silenced by societal norms. It stemmed from her anger over the recurring slut-shaming of Malaysian-Indian women in relation to the way they dress and overall life choices.
For Hemz, sexual agency and pleasure are intertwined with empowerment and as an act of resistance, against patriarchal structures that seek to control women’s bodies. “I decide whether I [could] open doors or put up barriers online,” she said, elaborating on the contrast that she found herself speaking up more online than she does offline.
Hermz’s social media work has received backlash, especially from men. She often received unsolicited messages that border on harassment online. But she turned this around and, using the power of the internet, fought back against the perpetrators.
“I am in total control here[online] and I derive[my] joy and pleasure by doxing those males who refuse to take no as an answer from women,” she said.
These days, Hemz sees digital spaces primarily as tools for work and making life easier. It is where she pays bills, buys necessities, and talks to people dear to her.
“Work and working are pleasure and joy for me, I derive pleasure when I immerse myself in tasks, I derive joy from the results,” she said.
These pleasure manifests in Hemz’s writing and advocacy. Her feminist page serves as both a personal outlet and a public platform for challenging societal norms, including how the Malaysian Indian community is “hellbent on women following… culture and religion… believing that strict adherence is key to pleasure and joy.” By addressing topics like slut-shaming and victim-blaming, Hemz not only reclaims her voice but also creates a ripple effect, empowering others to do the same.
“My condition enabled me to shape unconventional perspectives, I am not sure how I was ‘taught’ to perceive pleasure and joy but now I understand that pleasure and joy are what you make it, not what you are made to believe,” she said.
Julia**, a 33-year-old single mother in the Philippines, echoes this sentiment in her own way. She turned to digital freelancing platforms for economic independence after being diagnosed with brain arteriovenous malformation which affects her physical mobility and balance. It wasn’t an easy journey, she said, noting that it took her years to accept her condition. She felt lonely and isolated, but it changed when she realized the opportunities she can explore.
“Actually, I don’t really need to walk… because of technology… I’ve achieved greater things now,” she said.
Julia was one of the people who did online work even before it became a norm during the lockdown caused by the coronavirus pandemic in 2020. When everything shifted online, she was already a master at it. Her work as a writer and on civil society projects became a source of her pride and pleasure since it serves as a reminder of her capabilities despite societal stigmas surrounding her disability.
“You can’t experience pleasure if you haven’t experienced joy,” she said.
Digital platforms became an avenue for Julia to experience forms of pleasure that people assumed PWDs cannot explore. She first recalled seeing this potential as a young student using an online messaging platform that was popular then,Yahoo Messenger.
When it comes to online dating, however, Julia is aware how other people in her community are wary of jumping into it due to stigma. But she empathizes with their concerns, given her own lived experience where there she met men who treat PWDs as objects of their fetish instead of a genuine desire for a meaningful relationship.
There were times she was taken advantage of and pressured into uncomfortable situations by people she met online. While these happen mostly due to lack of safeguards by tech platforms, it left Julia more cautious of dealing with individuals on the internet. But these didn’t stop her from seeing the bright side of digital spaces in terms of building relationships and connections. You just need to be open and accept your own difference, regardless if you are a PWD or not.
“Connecting with different people has been a source of pleasure for me,” she said, emphasizing that the idea that pleasure can extend beyond physical intimacy. It also encompasses self-worth, accomplishment, and the ability to provide for oneself and loved ones.
Building an inclusive digital future
As these narratives unfold, a vision for a feminist internet emerges—a digital world where accessibility is a fundamental design principle, not an afterthought. The PWDs interviewed for the study imagined a digital landscape where platforms are equipped with accessibility features like being screen reader friendly, closed captions, and a more inclusive and intuitive navigation. These platforms and digital spaces must respect and be aligned with the Web Content Accessibility Guidelines. They envision spaces where diverse voices are not just included but that they could participate in meaningfully as they are.
Jayce’s vision of the future involves breaking down language barriers to enable seamless communication between Deaf and hearing communities. He recalled instances where the lack of this was so apparent, including waiting in long queues for hours to deal with government officials without any special priority for PWDs, noting that “the issue is when they forget I’m deaf and they call my name or number multiple times, only for me to wait for hours for any indication that I am being called.”
He highlighted the importance of the internet in helping to disrupt systems that promote inaccessibility. For them, creating tools and platforms that cater to diverse needs is not just about inclusion but about equity. Joy and accessibility are intricately connected, after all, and addressing one necessitates addressing the other.
“Digital space has given me a lot of positive impact on the work I do and also on my life as a deaf person who cannot get information through audio. I can’t hear. It has an impact on what I think as a person and poses a challenge to mix with other members of society. I have to use a lot of my eyes to catch things, [to] observe,” he said.
Mary, meanwhile, imagines a world where digital spaces where platforms for building romantic or platonic relationships ensure equitable access for PWDs, and these can be achieved by coming up with features that allow them to easily navigate the online world. For example, an inclusive dating application that fosters genuine connections through audio messages and not just on images. These platforms must be built in mind to consider the neurodiverse society we are all a part of and how we seek for connections differently.
But she emphasized the importance of comprehensive and holistic sex education that puts premium also not just on consent but also emphasis on safeguarding the bodily autonomy of PWDs.
“When consent is not taught to persons with disabilities that is why they are taken advantage of,” she said. “It would be great if in the first place digital spaces are safe.”
Julia’s story adds another layer, having observed how economic structures and systems often exclude PWDs from traditional employment which reinforces their marginalization. While her success in digital spaces underscores the potential for technology to challenge these barriers, it also highlights the need for systemic change to ensure such opportunities are available to all.
“It’s a huge challenge for us persons with disabilities to find work outside… if there’s going to be change, I hope there will be a law that ensures everyone has opportunities, even in digital work,” she said.
For the transwoman from the Philippines, a digital future that considers the diversity of bodies and minds of PWD should be one where individuals can pursue pleasure and connection without judgement. PWDs’ lives and their experiences are not monolithic in nature. Her vision embodies both personal aspirations and a broader hope for inclusivity and acceptance that could lead to an environment where joy and pleasure can be explored freely both in physical spaces or online.
She also highlighted a key challenge in regards to online accessibility. While digital spaces offer a space of escape and a tool for empowerment, financial inequality often disrupts her ability to engage fully. Limited internet access as a direct result of these financial barriers can prevent many from participating in the digital world, underscoring the ongoing struggle for true accessibility for people with disabilities.
The stories of Honey, Mary, Jayce, and others in Mapping Joy, Pleasure, and Community highlight the transformative power of digital spaces for persons with disabilities (PWDs) in Malaysia and the Philippines. For them, the internet is more than just a tool—it is a space for self-discovery, connection, and empowerment in societies that often marginalize them. Through online platforms, they have been able to reclaim agency over their identities, challenge societal stigma, and explore aspects of pleasure and joy often denied to PWDs. Their experiences illustrate how digital accessibility and inclusivity can foster autonomy, whether in navigating sexuality, building relationships, or securing economic independence. However, the challenges of inaccessibility, stigma, and exploitation remain, emphasizing the need for more inclusive and equitable digital spaces. The project underscores the necessity of integrating accessibility into digital design, advocating for a feminist internet where diverse voices are not just included but meaningfully engaged. Ultimately, their narratives envision a future where digital platforms are truly empowering, fostering agency, equity, and joy for all.
