[DASH of SAS] The mothers left to grieve by Duterte’s drug war

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Sarah Celiz was hunched over, scrubbing clothes clean when her granddaughter, Shane, came rushing to her, tears in her eyes.

Mama, mama! Inaresto na si Duterte!” said Almarie. (Mama, Duterte has been arrested.) 

Sarah and her granddaughter stared at the phone, watching the news unfold. 

A tumble of emotions washed over them. Disbelief. Joy. Sorrow. All mixing again with the grief that never really left them.

The two women hugged each other and wept. A mother mourning her sons. A daughter grieving a father she never truly got to know. 

Glued to the news, Sarah felt a sense of pity for the former president. He was called Tatay but also The Punisher. The strongman with blistering words and roaring commands to kill, kill, kill. Now, on a plane to a detention center half way around the world, he was reduced to a small, frail, old man.

Naawa ako sa kanya. Tao lang din naman ako. Matanda na rin sya,” said Sarah. (I pitied him. I am just human. He is old already.)

But the feeling did not last.

Tapos naisip ko na, mas nakakaawa yun mga anak ko. Dalawa silang pinatay. Yung isa, si Almon nakataas na ang kamay, hindi pa rin sila naaawa.” (Then I thought of my sons. Two of them were killed. They deserved mercy. One, Almon, already had his hands up in the air, but still, they did not show him mercy.)

Two sons killed, months apart

Sarah, 60, is a quiet woman who was never really interested in politics. Her days in Bagong Silang, Caloocan, were filled with the duties of getting from one day to the next: manning the sari-sari store, perhaps taking on an odd job to wash clothes, looking after her grandchildren. There was always a pile of chores on a never-ending loop.

That was before her two of her sons were killed in 2017. First, Almon. Then Dicklie. Both were shot dead less than six months apart.

Another son, Alan, Jr., was spared from death but not from suffering. He was arrested and taken into police custody after an altercation with a neighbor who taunted him for not protecting his two brothers. Another son was taken from Sarah but at least he was still alive. 

Sarah told Alan, Jr. to stay in prison. There, he could be safe. Prison would be the hell that he could at least come back from. 

The men were killed, the women were left to grieve

When I visited Sarah last January, she wore a yellow baller ID she hardly took off — like a bandage over a wound that never truly heals. In bold letters was written KARAPATAN. It was the battle cry she took to the street protests, to court hearings, to stage plays where she and her grandchildren acted out the dramatization of the drug war — anywhere she could demand justice for her sons. 

In Duterte’s drug war, it was mostly poor young men like Almon and Dicklie who were killed. No charges. No trial. No questions. Thousands of mothers like Sarah were left behind to grieve and pick up the pieces.

Sarah took on the role of breadwinner, caregiver, and emotional anchor for her 12 grandchildren who were orphaned. In time, Sarah also learned to take on the role of advocate and survivor.

At the Senate hearings last year investigating the drug war when Sarah saw Duterte in person for the first time.

The man who had ordered the deaths of thousands stood before the Senate unrepentant. 

“Do not question my policies because I offer no apologies, no excuses. I did what I had to do, and whether or not you believe it… I did it for my country,” said Duterte in his opening statement.

Justice, not vengeance

Another source of news on the Duterte arrest was the Instagram feed of Kitty Duterte, the youngest daughter of the former president. Kitty was with her father when he was arrested and posted various updates.  

“Hours before he was taken from us. We miss you, Dada!” Kitty wrote with a photo of her kissing her father.

“They took my Dad from us, put him on a plane, and wouldn’t say where to. People, wake up,” Kitty posted.

Armed men shot Sarah’s son, Almon, at a basketball court. Sixteen bullets had slammed into his body.

Sarah’s other son, Dicklie, was taken while he was on his way to the market. Neighbors saw men put a bag over Dicklie’s head and drag him away. His body was found days after.

What had happened to Sarah and her family was now happening to the Duterte family. Their protector, their patriarch was taken. The person they relied on for power, security and privilege would be made to answer for the thousands of deaths he ordered. 

“Now, they will know how we felt. At least their father is still alive,” Sarah said.

Sarah is not out for vengeance. That will not bring back her sons. Their deaths must not be forgotten, but Sarah’s grief calls for justice to also remember how her sons lived. To honor the thousands of fallen poor young men is to acknowledge that they were sons who were loved, fathers who are missed, lives that mattered. – Rappler.com

Ana P. Santos is Rappler’s sex and gender columnist. DASH of SAS is her opinion column which takes off from the video series, Sex and Sensibilities. 

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