1 month ago
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I was once invited to speak to over 900 single men and women. As I scanned the room, one thought popped into my head: “Why are so many young people holding off on marriage these days?”
Maybe they’re enjoying their independence, maybe they feel unready for long-term commitments, or perhaps they want to cross off more destinations on their travel bucket list before adding someone else to the equation. Whatever the reason, many are choosing to put relationships on the back burner.
Now, I’ll admit, as a father of two daughters, the idea of them dating makes me just a little uneasy. But now that my designer daughter Hannah has made me a “grandpa,” I can see that the worries were unfounded.
This reminds me of a story about two friends, Alan and Steve. Alan asked, “Steve, what will you do when your daughter starts dating?” Steve replied, “Simple. I’ll take the first guy aside, put my arm around his shoulder, and whisper, ‘Do you see that sweet young lady? She’s my only daughter, and I love her dearly. If you think about touching her, remember – I don’t mind going back to prison.’”
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not exactly that kind of dad. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t secretly want my daughters’ future suitors to undergo a lie detector test. Maybe I’ve watched Meet the Parents one too many times – Robert De Niro has taught me a lot.
For the ladies: Choosing the right guy
When choosing your guy, don’t just look for someone cute. A handsome face might be nice to look at, but it doesn’t hold up when things get tough. Many girls have learned the hard way that cute and good-looking guys can sometimes come with a side of immaturity, irresponsibility and unfaithfulness.
Here’s what you should look for instead:
A healthy fear of God: You won’t be with him 24/7, but God will be. He’s far less likely to stray if he’s accountable to God.
Honesty and hard work: A man who’s responsible, faithful and willing to roll up his sleeves is worth more than a pretty face.
Maturity and integrity: Life throws curveballs, and you’ll need someone who can handle the heat – without throwing tantrums.
I found an online gem titled Things I Should Have Known Before I Dated. It’s packed with wisdom and a bit of humor. Ladies, take notes (and fellas, pay attention, too):
Never date someone rude to waitstaff. If they can’t respect a server, how will they respect you?
Never date someone rude to their mother. A man’s relationship with his mom can say a lot about how he’ll treat women.
If they’re rude to you now, wait. It only gets worse with time.
If they don’t share your values, they’ll lower yours. Standards matter.
The five magic words for a happy relationship are “I apologize” and “You are right.” Learn them, love them and use them.
Everyone seems normal – until you get to know them. Proceed with caution!
If they say, “You’re too good for me,” believe them. Don’t try to “fix” someone who’s already told you they’re not good enough.
If they can’t apologize now, don’t expect miracles later. Pride is a hard habit to break.
Avoid people who love mirrors, phones and screens more than they love you. A little vanity is fine, but if they’re dating their reflection, where does that leave you?
Remember, you only get one wrong decision – and that mistake can haunt you for the rest of your life. Always remember that the right one puts God first. If they put God first, they’ll treat you with the love, respect and care you deserve. You’ve got the right one when you find someone who loves God more than they love you.
To all the singles out there, remember: love isn’t about finding the perfect person – it’s about finding the right one. Someone who will love you, respect you and inspire you to grow into your best self. And don’t settle for less than God’s best for you.
So, this Valentine’s Day, don’t feel pressured by rom-com clichés or Instagram-perfect couples. Instead, focus on what truly matters: faith, character and building a relationship that stands the test of time.
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Francis Kong will run his highly acclaimed Level Up Leadership – The Next Edge, but strictly for forty participants. This whole-day event will happen on Feb. 25, 2025, at the Rockwell Club Function Rooms. For inquiries and reservations, contact Sylene Alonzo at 0976-638-8974 or Savee at 0917-533-6817. For more information, visit www.levelupleadership.ph.
